>Living in a Lonely Life Alone<

There my story goes again after a couple of days spending time with my darling. Since we had a 1 week college break for a raya celebration. Her aunty asked her to stay and accompany her since her husband went for a holiday there is were we could only contact with each other by sms and call because of not see each other for 1 week it felt so difficult and i really miss her so much and my mind was all about her and every plan i made i want to make sure she is everytime right beside me to move along with me and it came a day where she told me she will come and find me and i was happy and couldn't wait for the day to come because want her to know my parents so that we can be one family in future of a begining step.

Till that day it came i so glad and ready waiting for her to arrive and then when arrive we really had fun by getting close to each other by huging each other and sleep ^^....and i wanted to show her i truely lovee her by kissing haha that part will be continue ...xD

Then till my family came back they wanted to know her keep asking me she inside the room...they cannot wait to see her till then she finally introduce..haha well that was a very first gf that is my darling that i bring home to show my family...then my mind keep thinking when is my turn to meet her family...feel sometime afraid but then we cannot think of this type of way ...must be postitive thinking...but nothing can stop my love toward my darling..she is everything mean to me and

It been 2 year since i been rejected by a couple of gals...so i decide to start a new life in the early of January 2009..i had all my friends back with me we all started enjoying happy moment so that i can forget about my past and never think about having any relationship..but i everytime got few friends will look down on me saying i dunno thing even do i help them so much...even they trying to say i a stupid person...cannot even have a plan to work or go to study.Never say somebody else like that if you ownself doing the same and everything saying rubbish stuff at msn.Since after the last celebration of having heniken for a farewell then the next day they all went back to continue they journey of study..then i be left all alone again at malacca...till 1 of my church friend call me to join this camp call Faith,Fun and Friendship.. at first i didnt want to go...but then after being bored alone at home everyday...waiting all for my friends to come back from KL,Sabah and Selangor..then i decide to give it a shot to have a chance to make new friends...so the day came when i looking forward...in the church they were few of them very good even greet us..even they dont know me...and some of them also were talking mandarin that i couldn't understand totally... you know what i mean...then later i met this gal i saw she were everytime smiling at me...even in the bus we sit together to go kuala selangor...even everyday also when i look at here she will smile at me...like some kind of eye contact....i did ask her for her phone number...but that time she gave me her sis number...so i everytime try to contact her and look for her...and soon later she bought the same phone with me...kind of nice...soon on i told her i admire her then few days she ask me to just be friends ... then came to a few month later... my aunty and her family from sweden coming to malacca..she also support and sponcer me to go langkawi for 3 days holiday..i agree to go...before the next day going to kl...i went with my church friends for badminton and swimming...but then when i go back to rest..i was sick and tired...at night i with my dad and my aunty from johor travel to selangor and stay my elder bro house..
The Next Day, i follow my bro to fetch my aunty and her family from the airport...i really glad to see them again..because it been few year never see time...espically my cousin and his dad...we all went to eat and also then came back to have a rest..but then i was totally sick and suffering ...the next day i couldn't get to langkawi with my aunty...what a miss trip and really sad i didnt get to go because of sick...my dad came to take care of me for at least 1 week i sick...he bring me to see the doctor...and doctor give me medicine...but then the medicine like no effect...then we went again the next day...because i was really badly suffer like 1 want to die...another new doctor appear...but he give me injuction at my ass...because it say that i had a high fever...i thought it was a h1n1 if not i sure be dead by now...we went home...hoping i can get cure soon as possible...but then i still could get well.then i went for a blood test..is show my blood still ok..but only my padlets drop went down a bit...then a person so caring msg me...she ask me how is me..and she was also sick that time...but i pray for her to get well soon..then the next day my dad didnt know what to do because he could'nt sleep then he fetch me back to malacca...and went to see doctor that i everytime go since i was small is was call Dr Lim and Tan...a great and nice doctor..after taking his medicine i feel better and had recover slowly...if it was a half day recover only...then i had the msg from her again...she ask me to come her school to watch her performance ..she was the big sis of the gal that i like during the camp call faith fun and friendships...but then i was sick again...couldn''t move and was sick about almost 2 week...then i told her if i ok then i will go if i not feel then i cannot make it...even do it didnt go...on sunday at church she even change place with her cousin and to sit beside me...after church we had a trip call going to zoo organise by shirlynn pu..she was going so i decide to go and after that we had a lunch before we our meeting start she ask me to why i sit so far...that was a part of my life i really had in love and like her only other didn't know ...it strike my feeling just like that...but she had a bf already that was my friend...so everytime i see she alone i try to talk to her or i got sometime call her or sms with her...till my friends say you want ask me to go ahead..maybe i not that patience i think...even few of my friends know that i like her...then we were going a camp call Leadership camp the theme is Cornerstone camp at johor...it was very fun i make new friends...and i also everytime was very worry about her and trying to get close to her as much as possible...but my friends everytime disturb so i got shy..then i everytime seek for advise from my friends..they ask me to take step by step...even do when i see her talk with other guys i kind of feel jealous...i slowly became emo and feeling sad..and slowly i kind of see after she know i like her...she like kind of avoiding me...i feel like a bad person and everytime couldn't stop thinking of her and worry and care for her so much...everytime jealous...like i losing her...it like what i saw in my vision i saw myself fail the in future...and also i saw that i were very sad and lost everything in my life completly...now time already i get to know she still love her bf....even do he got other gf...i cannot make or force a person to love me...maybe God does want me to have now...maybe not the right time for me to have it...Maybe some day God see i ready then he will show me the way..and this might be the begining of my life fail and where i suffering..

My name is Amos Tan and I’m 18 this year. Recently I joined a camp called F³, Faith, Fun and Friendship. It was a very touching and life changing experience for me and I have volunteered to give a short but memorable testimonial about this camp.

Before I joined this camp, I was a very shy and quiet person. I never knew how to communicate with other people as they were so different in character. So I tended to be very introverted and because of this, I rarely participated in any church activities, but, by joining the F³ camp, I became a changed and renewed person. I became more open towards receiving others into my life. I made new friends and discovered my weaknesses and through this camp, I learnt to overcome them.

My life was enlightened when I joined this camp. During the course of this camp, my life took an impromptu turn for the better as I met and made new friends. They touched my life with their sincere friendship and always stuck together and cared for one another. The sharing sessions were really meaningful to me as we all shared about our own lives and through this, I learnt many new things about each other and understood more deeply their feelings and lives. This helped me become more brave and profound in communicating with other people, even when they are complete strangers to me. I showed my caring attitude towards my fellow group members by helping them through the eco-challange and we worked together in all the challenges and games that we had. By joining this camp, I not only built my self-esteem, but also got a new lease on life and friendship.

Though my experience in the camp was brief, it changed my life so drastically that I will always remember my journey throughout this camp in becoming a better person, a better being of this world to contribute to the well being of this earth but most of all, to better appreciate the true meaning of friendship in which we can discover the wonders of God.

Thank You.

This will be read by me this coming 28/06/2009 offical day at st theresa church